


Take a slice.

by NyanPug204



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, But he’s really far away smh, Daydreams, Dream | Clay - Freeform, Fluffy Angst, George - Freeform, George has a pretty strange fear ngl, George moved to America for college, George’s POV, Glass animals - Take a slice, I changed things so the plot works, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sapnap low-key third wheeling, Sapnaps such a good friend give him more credit, They like comfort each other online a lot, Very clear, dont attack me, i just love comfort, i wanna make that clear, idk how to archive yet gimme a minute, pretty suggestive, sapnap - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:27:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28279884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyanPug204/pseuds/NyanPug204
Summary: George struggles with daydreams and distractions nobody helps him at all, in fact, they just make it worse.—————————————————”George..” Clays voice came through the speakers, noticeably surprising George, even if Clay couldn’t see him.”Yeah? Something up? You heard Nick you should sleep-“ George was nearly immediately interrupted at the mere mention of sleep, promptly shutting his mouth as Clay spoke again.”I've been having.. weird dreams.” God did George know what that was like.
Relationships: dream | clay/georgenotfound
Comments: 18
Kudos: 135





	1. Distractions.

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not send this to the CC’s I’ll literally die. This is shipping of Internet personas and not real people, Dream and George have said they’re fine with this but if they ever change their mind I will take this down. I don’t think this idea is original at all, I’m decent at writing and wanted to give a fanfic a try. This is my first time on the archive oop.

_  
I._. _don’t ever wanna pick a slice._

George pushed his body back on the chair, listening to the creek of the plastic reclining. Work was hard. He was still in College, working part time with the simple hobby of streaming with.. a lot of viewers. George hadn’t expected such a thing to blow up, he’d started his channel on YouTube years ago as fun, yet he didn’t think it would ever accumulate to _this._ Millions of followers, people literally admiring what he’d created online. Just to think he’d genuinely been trying for years.

The jokes, the friendships, genuine, meaningful relationships formed over a video game about blocks. It was incredible in its own way, yet it still confused the man greatly. George had never even considered the fact his online career could take off, something so unstable, fragile, one wrong word said and he could loose thousands of followers. That could potentially fuck over his entire career, he didn’t want that. If he was cancelled he’d be left with no reason to play with the people he’d met, people he adores. He’d only drag them down too.

He’d decided against quitting his part time job, he didn’t want this to flop and loose his only source of income, along with sticking with college. He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to loose his shot of being safe incase of a break down, or if people just lost interest. There had been many famous creators that had been lost to the depths of time. People who had to move on with their lives, make other livings than just being famous, supposedly famous, he didn’t know what to make of his own fan base. Even if it’d been there for years.

At this point the man had decided he wasn’t going to let the persona he played take over his life. There was George, then there was GeorgeNotFound, the better him he could say. The difference between him and when there was a camera on him had been particularly stark recently. With work pulling down his head, overtaking much of his thoughts, George had been struggling to keep up the persona through livestreams. Sitting there for over an hour, camera pointed to his face, expressions and reactions shown live to hundreds of people. It had just been a hinderance, he was contemplating not streaming with a face cam for a while. His nails picked at the fabric of his jeans, watching the threads slowly shift out of place, one peeking up from under the others. His finger hooked into it, pulling it up slowly. Who the hell even was George not found?

“George?” A familiar voice echoed through his headphones, oh right, he’d almost forgotten.

“Ah- yeah yeah I’m here Nick, sorry.” He quickly apologised to his friend, they’d been on a call, just talking before George had zoned back into his head. He was silently grateful Nick had pulled him out when he did. He would’ve wrecked his jeans if Nick hadn’t said a single word, slowly moving his hand up towards his desk, careful to unhook the thread from his slim finger. Why were they so skinny? It wasn’t exactly manly. Did that even matter to anyone but him? What the hell was feminine and what was masculine anymore? He’d noticed Skeppy had taken an image of himself in a maid dress and had just.. posted it online for the universe to see. George didn’t understand how he could do that, how someone could have so much damn confidence. George wanted to take some and just keep it, he needed more confidence than he had. He needed more than he acted like he had.

Nick, Sapnap, whatever name he was feeling at the time was certainly one of his closest friends, even if they’d never met in person. They’d exchanged numbers, FaceTimed, just enjoyed each other’s presence. Nick was one of the people he’d talked with most, just the laughter between the two, the endless meaningful conversations, usually ending in both men grinning like idiots in their seats. It had been different recently, and Nick had picked up on that before George, or so it seemed. George was explicitly oblivious at times, how he didn’t pick up on occasional jokes, how he tended to just question things flat out. Nick knew George too well, like how he knew Dream too well, he could pick up on inflections in their voices that they would sometimes miss. Nick was the one they both went to first. And as much as he wouldn’t say why, he knew exactly why they went to him instead of each other. Other than the fact Dream and George were both _idiots._

Of course Nick wasn’t George’s only friend, there was.. Clay, Dream. The most confusing person he’d ever spoken too. He never had any expression to read, and George’s oblivion wouldn’t let him notice the differences in the mans tone.

Clay was a different kind of relationship through George’s eyes, different friendship. While he could just talk to Nick about anything, Clay was.. he couldn’t quite describe it. Whenever the man joined the call or spoke to him he’d seem normal, he’d feel normal.. but then the teasing would start. Especially during streams. Those _stupid_ moments of their dynamic. George didn’t understand why they kept it up, the fans ate it all up, but he was mostly confused. Most of the time he couldn’t figure out if the latter’s teasing was genuine moments of affection or just a moment for the viewers to clip and scream about for a while. He’d never understood what the massive enjoyment over the teasing was about, it didn’t make him uncomfortable that people had been drawing him and Clay together in.. interesting ways. How people wrote about them didn't bother him either. It had never bothered Clay too, so they let them have their fun. It was up to them in the long run after all, people would do it either way, he’d just made the conscious decision that people liked the idea of him and Clay being.. Together.

_Him and Clay together.? George and.. him._

He had to snap out of it, he had to. It wouldn’t happen. Why was he thinking like that? He needed to stop it, George had never considered to be in that kind of relationship with Clay, he could imagine it, but he doubted it would actually happen. His fingers found his jeans again, locking into the same thread they’d been in before, tugging it up slowly. The satisfying clicks of threads snapping faintly played in his head. Just the thought.. _Clays hands moving to lay around his waist, tugging the smaller mans frame towards him, bodies pressed together, heat shared for a moment. Complete intimacy, completely private. Heavy breathing, George could feel the heat on his cheeks, he could see the back of the other mans neck turning red too. They were shared in their embarrassment, shared in their reactions. His head was lodged against Clays shoulder and neck, he could smell the others cologne, hear his breathing, hear his heart. No one could see them, no one could see their reactions to each others heat, as Clays hand trailed up from his back. Eventually hooking a finger under George’s chin, tilting the males head up to finally look at his-_

His face? No. Too far. George was smacked by the fact this wasn’t reality, the fact that he hadn’t actually seen the mans face. All he knew was that Clay was six-foot-three, a solid hundred and ninety-one centimetres. Clay would tower over George if they met in real life, he was merely five-foot-nine, a hundred and seventy-five centimetres, six inches difference in their height, sixteen centimetres. That was so much, idle calculations played through his head over the difference of they ever actually met. _You wish._ Out of nowhere he brought himself back to reality, pulling his thoughts from the man. The man he’d never seen. The man he’d only _imagined._ He couldn’t think like this, not on a call with Sapnap, not with one of his other closest friends there. He let his thoughts become back on track, what was he even thinking about before? Oh. Right. How Clay acts on stream, not his strange, teenager-like fantasies. Why’d he even think like that? With someone he didn’t know what he looked like, he only had vague inferences of Dreams appearance through Sapnap. 

When _did it become Dream and not Clay..?... shut up._ He pulled himself from that thought, habits made him switch between calling Clay Dream and Sapnap Nick, he just let his mind do whatever he wanted most of the time, that included this. But it didn’t include his stupid fantasies. He decided to distract himself, thinking of how Clay used his name on stream.

Clays calls of his name, how he drew it out, occasionally using a deeper tone almost scared him. It scared him because of how hard it was not to blush during those moments, usually live and in-front of hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people. Every time it chipped away at his sanity, millimetres at a time, luckily, or by this point he’d be bat shit insane if it chipped anymore. He hadn’t realised one persons voice could throw his mental state to an entire different place, he could be completely on another planet, but then Clay, _Dream_ , would speak. And George would be instantly pulled back to earth, a subtle flush over his cheeks no one had picked up on. He thanked the fucking gods for that. With what had ran through his head before he was sure that flush would be much more noticeable. _Why can’t you just fucking drop it? It wasn’t important. It was just your head._

George slowly moved, his hand clasping over chapped lips, eyes scanning the screen before jumping as he realised Nick was practically screaming at him through his microphone, prompting his hand to shoot down from his mouth, a rather surprised expression taking over his features. Oh right. He was on a call, and Nick had been talking at him. He didn’t know how long he’d been zoning out, so much stuck on his mind, Clay, work, school, his life. The fact he’d have to confront himself about his feelings one day. About how he’d had that flustering image in his head.. _Clays fingers pressed under his chin, slowly forcing his head up—_ Stop. The image in his head grinds to a halt. He’d daydreamed about meeting Clay before, every time he even got close to looking at the taller mans face the image had stopped, it didn’t feel right, imagining Dreams face. Not when all he had to go off were a few crappy descriptions and a single number that stuck in his head. Holy shit _stop._

“Sorry, I’m really stuck in my own head today-“ That was an understatement, he was still stuck there, _Clays hands-_ no. Don’t. Not now. Hold a normal conversation at the very least, even just for five minutes, oh god he needed a distraction. He moved his hands, holding his mouse linked up to his pc, moving to click onto Spotify, making sure the discord call was still connected as he turned on some music, something calm. Something slow. His mouse hovered by Kids, MGMT. Not exactly a slow song, but distracting, something that could pull his mind away from _Clay_ for the five minutes it lasted. He clicked the song gently, the soft noise of the click finding its way to his ears before the bass of the song hit in. He leaned back in his chair, his hair sticking to his forehead. He was sweating apparently, it wasn’t even hot. He’d just been distracted. The music played in his ears, he took in the opening to the song before Nicks voice cut through. That had only been a few seconds? Maybe less? How the fuck was time working tonight?

“Yeah, no shit, what’s got you so distracted? You know you should really quit your job George.. you’ve got school, working in a store and you’ve got a consistent schedule to follow!” George let out a soft sigh, Nick was right. He really should quit that dead-end job. He was making enough from the ad revenue and donations alone. He knew he was supposedly old for collage, but that was through the fact he’d moved to one in America. America was different from where he came from, Britain, it was less weird to start collage later, so he’d started at age twenty-two opposed to sixteen if he’d started back at home. He didn’t know if he’d regretted moving to America. His eyes scanned over the screen, glancing at the minutes the song had done. Not much. Not even a single minute. George was silent as he considered his options. He didn’t want to fuck everything over. That was the last thing he wanted to do, if it all fell from under him he was afraid he’d loose Sapnap. He was afraid he’d loose _him._

Loosing Clay. That thought was in his head as the nostalgic music played though his ears, _control yourself._ He needed to do that. _Take only what you need from it._ He’d try alright, he got greedy sometimes, he got greedy in how he acted around Dream in calls occasionally, sometimes he intentionally tried to get himself teased. He’d never say that aloud though. Never. To anyone. _A family of trees waiting, to be haunted._ Oh right; this song wasn’t about his emotional issues, as he realised he was pulled back into the previous conversation.

“I’ll consider it Sap.” George’s reply was simple and quiet, clear his mind was still distracted. He had projects to finish, both for school and for YouTube. Both things he enjoyed. At this point he was torn. Everything was confusing, emotions, the way he could get those images in his head in a matter of seconds, one wrong thought, one flash of something that reminded him of Clay and he’d be thrown back into that image. His hand moved down, colliding with the desk out of nowhere, Sapnap seemed to stop rambling for a moment, asking if George was okay. George only nodded, lazily mumbling a small sign he was in fact fine, he’d forgotten that Nick wasn’t able to see his face for a moment. That was embarrassing. His hand lay over his mouse again, deciding to cease the song he was listening to, scrolling through a ‘discover’ playlist until he saw something that caught his eye. Glass animals, he knew the band, he knew that they were good, but this was a song he didn’t recognise, maybe a less popular one? Take a slice. 

He clicked, listening to the chatter between two voices over a beat for the beginning of the song. Something about a candle. He wasn’t too interested, until the beat kicked in. His mind tuned Nick out, the music filling his headphones, his head tilting back slightly as he took in the first lyric, that wasn’t incoherent mumbling at the beginning of the song. _I.. don’t ever wanna pick a slice._ That stuck with him. An inference of not wanting to make a choice. George’s eyes slid towards Sapnaps icon on discord, slowly turning up his spotify music to tune him out more. Nicks icon was lighting up with the familiar vibrant outline, but the words weren’t clicking in the mans head. All he could hear was the music. This probably wasn’t good. But the beat, the echo in his head as the next lyric played.

 _One is pretty but the other lies._ Fuck. What was that? No, there was no way he could relate to that, right? Putting it into context with Nick and Clay.. He didn’t know what Clay looked like, he wanted to know, he yearned for it. He needed it. But he wasn’t going to pressure the other. So if Clay wasn’t the pretty one, was he the liar? No, no Clay wouldn’t lie to him, what even would he lie about? But then if Clay wasn’t.. Sapnap would be, but Nick was one of the most honest people he knew, and he was relatively attractive. George wasn’t attracted to him, but he could admit when another man was good looking. His masculinity wasn’t _that_ toxic. But then- he needed to stop thinking about it, it was one song lyric. One. There were more. George realised in his moment he’d missed a few lines, but the next one he heard surprised him enough for his breath to hitch, eyes subtly widening at the screen.

 _Dark fingernail polish._ Something he’d imagined Clay with a number of times, the dark colour coating his nails of his larger hands. George didn’t know why the image was in his head of someone like Dream having nail polish, he just found it fit. In an instant he was back in that place. _Hands fitting around his waist-_ stop - _His body being pulled towards the taller mans frame, chests collided, bodies latched against each other-_ go away - _His face in the crook of Dreams neck where his chest met his neck, where the bone slowly shifted into tendons and other parts-_ he couldn’t - _George made a soft almost strangled noise as Clays hand moved up towards his chin and-_ George moved a hand down, hitting himself on the knee. He hadn’t made much of a noise, he doubted Nick had heard it, but that had certainly brought him from his daydream. He hesitantly moved his hand back up, hooking it under his own chin. No. Don’t do that. 

_Gonna fuck my way through college._ George’s body froze in surprise, his eyes widening slightly as he realised what that line meant to him. He was completely shocked. This fucking song spoke to him. His hand dropped into his lap, left hand picking at his jeans again. That concept had been something he was afraid of. Loosing himself to someone in his college, he didn’t exactly want to end up with anyone. His head was set on not having a partner until he was finished with college, other than-.. he wasn’t going to go there. Of course George had partners in the past, he was twenty-three, his stupid teenage years had even let someone get in his pants once. He could barely remember the experience at this point. And he didn’t really want to. Not while he was listening to the music. 

All of a sudden the chorus erupted through George’s headphones, closing his eyes and zoning fully into the song. Nicks voice had been completely drained out a while ago, but now he’d forgotten that Nick had even been there in the first place. _I’m going to sleep ‘cus you live in my daydreams._ George’s entire body froze for a moment, a second lost to time, his brain silently processing what he had just heard. He opened his eyes, moving himself up and clicking to add the song to his playlist, then swiftly closing down his Spotify. That had been too much. Everything had clicked in his head. He shuffled as Nicks voice slowly turned back into his reality. George immediately panicked a little, but what Nick actually asked surprised him. Surprised him into pulling back from his PC enough to nearly force his headphones from his ears, before he even knew it there was a weight on his lap, his hands moved to lift the headphones back up over his head, the weight resting on top of his ears once again.

”Hey.. I just saw Dream come online, you wanna invite him to the call?” _No._ George thought to himself, thinking for a second. God fucking damnit Nick, why right at that moment. He was trying to stop himself from having another moment. His mind shot back to the photo of Clays hand he’d received through Snapchat, the image of his pale fingers clutched around fabric, his knuckles slightly bulging from the grip, George had tried to get the image out of his head. It had been sent when he first started having.. emotions about Clay, the weird warm feelings that spawned in his guts. He gently tilted his head back, covering his mouth for a second. He could hear Sapnap call for him, he made a soft noise into his microphone, a noise that was barely audible, but it still came through the microphone. Poor Nick, that must’ve confused the younger man, but Nick didn’t comment on it and neither did George, they just left it. Thankfully. 

”Yeah, sure, invite him to the call, I zoned out again. I’m sorry.” George let out a small laugh, trying to act like he was fine. Trying to act like his mind wasn’t going to other places, his hands slipping into his own lap, clasping them together in his own lap, thumbs twirling around each other before he tilted his head down, glancing at his own hands. Twiddling his thumbs. A habit he’d picked up, he wasn’t sure if it was good or not. Some find it annoying, the skin passing along itself, it felt weird, satisfying, the idle feeling of his thumbs gently moving. He leaned back, Dream usually didn’t take that long to respond to messages, even less time to answer calls. George’s mind drifted, the image sticking in his head, Clays hand, clutched over the fabric.. stop. His face heated up, and before he even knew it... _His hands moving up his body slowly, taking note of every single nook and dent, eventually taking hold of George’s ne-_

Ping.

“Hey guys.” Clays voice echoed through the speakers, his voice an octave lower than usual, he’d just woken up. George glanced at his clock, Clay lived across the country, he lived in Florida. Six hours in time difference was across from them, seven in the evening.. it was.. one in the morning for Clay. He must’ve had a nap and woke up. The last thing he needed right now was Clay, the last thing he needed was his voice, especially in this state. He could hear Nick greeting Clay, and after a second George decided to speak, glancing back slowly, “Hey, Clay.. you just woke up?” He hummed, a clear fondness in his voice as he spoke to Dream, something Sapnap would pick up on, something Clay wouldn’t even think of, something that would never happen on stream. 

“Yeah, you’re clearly observant today George..” George could basically hear the smirk on Clays face at the teasing, he couldn’t imagine it, but he could hear it. His hand slowly dragged up to his mouth, his eyes glancing down slowly before he cleared his throat. “Yeah, guess I am, how come you’re awake right now? Isn’t it like.. one for you?” He could hear Nick agree quickly, Nick was somewhere between George and Clay, Houston, it was most likely eleven for him, but he didn’t quite know. That’s why Nick and Clay had already met up, they were closer. However George had moved to Washington, he didn’t know how to feel about his previous decisions. Washington was the only place with a college opening that accepted him, he could still remember explaining the situation to Clay and Nick, even if it had been about a year since he’d moved.

_”Wait- George you’re moving to America?!” Nick exclaimed over the call, his voice laced with excitement, George swore he even heard his hand collide with his desk. “Yeah, yeah I’m moving to America for college, I’m gonna be closer to you guys, but-“ He was cut off surprisingly quickly, by Clay, that surprised him. Usually Clay wouldn’t be able to pick up on the differences in his tone, or at least he acted like he couldn’t tell. This entire time.. could Clay tell? Could he tell when George was genuinely flustered by the teasing? “But what? Where exactly are you moving to George?” Clay sounded curious, genuinely interested in him. George only realised this now he was looking back at the memory, he’d been too distracted originally, by the truth that was about to come through his past words._

_“Yeah.. I’m moving to Washington, it was the only place I could get accepted into without having to give up every penny I’ve ever saved.” That didn’t mean it wasn’t fucking expensive, it was a good college, pretty expensive with the move as well, but everywhere else he’d been denied a position. “Oh.” The disappointment was clear in Clays voice, he could hear a sigh leave the faceless mans lips, “Guess we’re gonna have the same time gap Eh? Honestly you should’ve come to Florida, we could’ve met up.” George’s heart stopped for a second, his cheeks heating up a little, Nick had muted himself, it was just them for a moment. “Clay, no it’s fine, I tried Florida, they didn’t accept me.”  
_

_“_ You have my time zone memorised or something I swear, but yeah it’s one, I fell asleep really early while editing the video,” Clays voice snapped him out of the memory, of course Clay had been editing. Dream, he had so many subscribers, so many followers on everything. He was basically carrying George on his shoulders, part of how he’d gotten so popular was Clay. But that didn’t discredit George’s work, he’d been around online for a long time, he’d been trying for years before he met Clay. Most of their followers understood that, they understood that it wasn’t just Dream who had caused George to gain a following. Clay had been lucky enough to quit his job and college, all to focus on his streaming and YouTube career. Could you call it that? A career? There weren’t ways to be promoted exactly, was getting followers the way of being promoted? George didn’t even know, he barely knew how this was supposed to work. And he’d been a YouTuber for so long. 

“Yeah that makes sense-“ George had started to speak, his mind had been completely torn away of previous thoughts. He didn’t want to go back to that place, those stupid, teenager-like images that played in his head. Nick cut him off, “You guys wanna play some Hypixel or something? If you’re not too tired Dream.” As Nick had spoken the clicking of his keyboard could be heard picking up through his microphone, making George think he was already loading up his Minecraft. They all knew each other well enough to have an idea of the answers they’d receive. “I’ll play if Dream does, I’ve been alone with you for hours Sapnap.” They’d been on call for so long, George had only just realised that. He’d been zoning himself back in and out for too long. At least he was finally coming to his senses.

_What changed? Why was he coming back all of a sudden?_

He decided against letting it distract him, hearing Clays response play through his headset, “I’ll play, let me get my Minecraft loaded.” George could hear the faint clicks of his mouse, he could see it in his head, Clays hands over the, probably, expensive mouse as he pressed down on the buttons. Hands that looked like they could destroy him. His mind wandered back to the image, how Clays skin wasn’t smooth exactly, he had bruises over his knuckles at the time. George remembered how he asked about it, and how Clay had given an extremely vague answer. _‘I just got annoyed dw’_ That was the message he’d received, something so simple yet so worrying at the time. He could remember the confusion that had taken over his mind, _what was Clay annoyed at? What the hell did he even do to get bruises like that?_ He thought it was that Clay had hit a wall or something, the most logical answer.

“George? We’re both logged in where are you?” Shit. Nick had basically reminded him they were on a call. George’s eyes shot to his monitor, his hand taking his mouse as he quickly loaded up his mincraft, muttering a string of apologies to his friends. The second he managed to log into Hypixel he heard Clays familiar wheeze of a laugh overtake his headphones, George found himself laughing with him, before he even knew it Nick was laughing too. These were the moments he lived for. Just the three of him laughing their arses off over the smallest things, like George’s little mistakes, or when they just laugh over Dreams laugh. How he sounded like he was deflating, loosing all the air from his lungs before letting out extremely loud laughs. It always made George smile, it was comforting to him. To hear one of his closet friends laughing away at something.   
  
“I- I said I was sorry okay! I’ve been really out of it today, just ask Sap he can back that up.” George explained once the laughter had died down, moving his hands away from his keyboard, a soft grin sitting on his lips. “Yeah, George had been really in and out of it today.” Nick replied, “Somethings been on his mind clearly.” Nick continued, not elaborating on what that something could’ve been. George’s mind immediately went to he had been thinking about for ages, his hands moving up towards his mouth for a second before it clicked that Nick was probably referring to that he’d been distracted with school. “Awh, is Georgie thinking about me?” Clays voice hummed through the headphones, and George mentally reeled back, his face going bright red. Thank god they weren’t streaming. Thank god. 

And before George even knew it, hours passed, hours of hypixel, playing mini games, bedwars, screeching at each other. This is what the brunette lived for, he loved the mindless nonsense that left them, even while they weren’t streaming, it was virtually the same dynamic. Yes, they had their personas, but nothing was different without a camera on him, or their screens being recorded and played on thousands of others. Finally, his head tilted down a little as a final chuckle left him, glancing at the time. Holy shit, it was two in the damn morning, he immediately felt a pang of guilt for keeping Clay and Nick up so late, but they had been enjoying themselves so damn much.

”Ugh.. oh god the time, I’m gonna log off for the night, you should too, _dream._ ” Nick spoke, earning a chuckle from both of his friends over how he’d said the Floridian mans name, nickname? It didn’t matter, but it was clear Nick was serious, he wanted Clay to rest, so did George. So after a few goodbyes and Goodnights, along with a kissing noise through Nicks microphone the discord effect of Nick leaving the call echoed through his headset.

Immediate silence fell through the call, it was just him and Clay, him and Clay, the hell was he supposed to do? Say something?

”George..” Clays voice came through the speakers, noticeably surprising George, even if Clay couldn’t see him.

”Yeah? Something up? You heard Nick you should sleep-“ George was nearly immediately interrupted at the mere mention of sleep, promptly shutting his mouth as Clay spoke again.

”I've been having.. weird dreams.” _God did George know what that was like._

After pushing his thoughts away George responded with a slight stutter, mostly from the confusion over _why_ Clay had told him this, “What kind of weird dreams? Like ones where your being chased around by a giant chicken or something?”

”Eh.. kind of? I just wanted to clear something up- you.. would like to visit me in Florida sometime right?” 

_What? Why bring this up now?_ “I- I don’t know yet, Dream, I still need time to think.” George hummed, shuffling to cover his mouth as the thoughts started rushing back into his head, if he actually _met_ Dream.. Jesus. 

“Yeah, thought so, well.. it’s late here, I’m gonna head to bed, Goodnight.. George.”

George completely froze, staring at his monitor as he could see the dim light of the discord menu lighting up his surroundings. The water bottle, his mouse that already had its own lights along with his keyboard. He could only imagine what he looked like with the lower lighting, the bridge of his nose illuminated in the blue light, cheeks a subtle red dusting over them with less light hitting. His eyes reflecting the screen, his lips illuminated as his tongue moved, wetting them before disappearing what again. And what he would give to see Clay in the same low lighting, finally able to see what was behind the fucking monitor, to _see_ his best friend for the first time. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t see his face.

_All he could see were the black scribbles, coating the taller mans face, past his jaw and barely showing the bottom of his neck. He could see his body, the grey shirt against the skin. The crosses were fucking terrifying to see on a person, they couldn’t be a good sign of George’s mental state if this was what he saw when thinking of Clays face. He’d tried to imagine it once and **that** had spawned, creating the fear in his head of looking up during his moments, he couldn’t. He would see.. that.  
_

“Goodnight Cl-.. Dream, Goodnight.” George was silent, waiting for the discord ping, eventually hearing the familiar notification, disconnecting himself, pulling his headphones off and shoving them on his desk before pushing himself back in his chair. His hands shot to his face, covering the lower half of his face before shifting to cover his eyes too. His whole face felt warm, burning actually, the tips of his ears completely crimson. Jesus why was he thinking? Why had whatever god was up there even _allowed_ him to think? He didn’t like thinking about Clays face because of that stupid fucking fear. He couldn’t envision it. Fuck everything. 

Finally, he could agree with his damn head, taking one last glance at his screen, Dreams offline icon, his headphones sat there on his desk with the wire looping into a strange knot. He pushed his chair again, moving away from the desk more, tilting his head up to look up at the plain ceiling, shadowed with the night. 

_“Fuck you, Clay.”_


	2. The assignment.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George struggles with an assignment along with his daydreams, which had started getting much more frequent.
> 
> ———————————————
> 
> "Oh right.. work. You usually respond to us though and- wait.. George are you okay?" The younger mans words made George freeze, fuck, of course he could tell what was happening to him just from his tone, Dream wasn't dense like George when it came to social interaction. All of Georges words caught in his throat, the tears finally slipping down his face. The dam hasn't broken yet, pull through, tell him it's nothing. But he'll only ask more, he was so tempted to just spill everything, but he didn't want to loose Clay, jesus. 
> 
> "Dream- I'm fine, I'm-"
> 
> "George.."
> 
> Shit. He knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do not send this to the CC’s I’ll literally die. This is shipping of Internet personas and not real people, Dream and George have said they’re fine with this but if they ever change their mind I will take this down.
> 
> Oh and this one gets very spicy- and angsty, I dunno where I was going with this.

George had been at it for hours, idly typing away for a simple assignment, college, work, boring, lonely. He’d managed to get about halfway through what he was aiming to get overall before he’d basically lost all motivation. And it was cold, not as cold as it could get, but colder than the average day in Washington. If he was Britain he was sure he would’ve been used to this, really used to it. Yet he’d already managed to adjust to America’s warmer climate, despite still having no idea how Fahrenheit worked, he’d always favoured the metric system, British blood running true. It was also strange America was the only place he could think of that didn’t use the metric system.

It suddenly clicked in George’s head that he was distracting himself again, sighing for a moment and quickly deciding to grab himself some food. He pushed his chair back, clicking off of the open tab after making sure his work saved, re-doing that would be the literal definition of purgatory for him. His hands shuffled, idly tugging the blue hoodie around him. Of course it was blue, any other colour would’ve just appeared to be a dull mess through his eyes, blue was the only beautiful colour, vibrant. Along with yellow, it was the most prominent colour he saw apart from blue, however, despite everything he’d done, the coloured glasses.. he still wanted to see _green_ like a normal person. George wanted to see green without having to look through some glasses, wanted to be able to observe his friends _stupid_ avatar correctly.

Damnit, his mind had wandered to Dream again, it always happened, no matter what he was doing. George hastily made his way to his kitchen of the small apartment he lived in, the only thing he could afford while being in close enough proximity to his college. He opened his fridge, pausing for a second as he contemplated what to eat. Due to never being able to make up his mind he tended to take longer to make meals, meaning he’d confuse many people while saying he went for some food and coming back usually an hour later, so he tended just to snack. On anything, he wasn’t unhealthy or anything, he just ignored his eating habits as whatever he was doing seemed to work, and the only person who truly cared about his weight was him.

George settled on just making a grilled cheese sandwich, taking the cheese from the fridge and closing it, grabbing the bread and idly humming to himself as he prepared the rest of the utensils and ingredients, not much effort at all. Before he even knew it that song was playing in his head, the one he’d been attempting to block out from his head. What was it? Take a slice, that’s what it was. _I.. don’t ever want to pick a slice._ God, he couldn’t let himself get distracted, he’d end up burning himself on the pan or something stupid that he’d imagine Sapnap managing to slip up and do.

It didn’t take too long before his food was ready, placing the sandwich on a plate, flinching as he lifted it from the pan. It hurt, of course it fucking hurt, but he placed it down fast enough to avoid any actual damage to his porcelain skin. That made him sound like a doll, he knew he appeared as one, as much as he wouldn’t admit it. His skin was pale, similar to the ceramic of a doll, his hair a deep brown, bangs sitting over his forehead without much effort to fix them despite them appearing decent without any effort. His eyes brown and each feature of his face locking in perfectly, at least that’s how he’d been described. Did he believe it? God no, he didn’t see himself as some doll, he didn’t see himself as some easily shattered piece of glass. For fucks sake, he was _human_ nothing would change that.

George made his way back to his room, kicking the door closed behind him on his way in, hearing it creak, nearly clicking into place before swinging a little open. Just a crack, it didn’t matter anyways, he lived alone. He sat himself down on the familiar chair, reclining himself back as he placed the plate on the desk, he needed to let it cool a little. He glanced up at his ceiling, tugging his hoodie around himself. “Shit, it’s not even that cold.. what’s wrong with me?” He damn knew what was wrong with him, all day he’d been trying to distract himself with little tasks, bits of coding, until he remembered he had that assignment due, the one he'd been working on not too long ago. What was he distracting himself from was clear to him. The goddamn image of.. _him...._

_"Oh my god.. we can't be doing this right now-" George's voice sounded small in comparison to its usual tone, he sounded flustered, embarrassed, no sarcastic come backs or eye rolls. He heard a scoff coming from a few centimetres above him, he didn't need the voice to speak for him to know who it was. "Oh come on now, George.. you know you want to, just stop working for a moment.." George felt his breath hitch in his throat from the unusual deep tone he'd only heard a few times from Clay, the words a deep rumble against his ear. He squeezed his eyes shut, hands shifting to grip at the fabric of the younger mans shirt, so he still had it on.. good. Compared to the others larger structure, George looked like one wrong touch would break him down in this position, and out of nowhere he could feel Clays lips attach to his neck. The lips he couldn't see, he swore Clays eyes raked over his frame as he pulled himself back once again. "Look at me George."_

_The command was simple, lower in tone and deep, sending heat waves of surprise down his body, guilt filling him as he felt the familiar pool of warmth in his gut. He always gave these dreams whatever they wanted, he was weak to them, vulnerable, extremely vulnerable. Not today. He wasn't going to let his own stupid fucking desires get the way of work, of life, he'd decided he'd suppress it all, lock it away in the back of his head. Never to be opened. "No.." George choked out, barely recognising his own tone, so small, meek sounding. "No? We're in **your** head, you can't hide things from me, I know you better than you know yourself." Clays hand raked down his back slowly, his breath catching in his throat as it landed on his hip, fingers digging into the tough fabric of his jeans, pressing against the skin laying underneath. "You can't lie to yourself, you know it will end if you look at me, you want it to end.. but you don't want to look.. that hurts my feelings Georgie.."_

_That fucking tone, clearly teasing him and judging his decisions, his body shaking against the pressure applied to his hip. It didn't hurt. Not at all, it felt surprisingly good. Oh god no, he couldn't be like this, these were his fantasies but.. he couldn't be that fucked up, could he? He could, he knew that deep down he really could be that fucked up, his mind drifted to these places frequently since his first one, all different, progressively less and less tame. George was bound to reach a boiling point eventually, he was pretty sure it would be sooner than he wanted. "I need it to end.. my work.. but if I look at you- you'll just come back later.. and I'm scared to think of.. what might happen.. if I succumb." His voice was strained, choked out, like he couldn't breathe as an invisible force clamped around his neck, his hands clutching at Clays shirt, gently pressing against the freckled and tanned flesh that lay under there. "George.. it's okay."_

_Another shift in vocal tone, much softer, sweeter, re-assuring.. exactly what he needed. He gasped for air quietly as the pressure around his neck faded, strong hands holding him up by his waist, keeping him close to the warmth radiating from the other man. He doesn't want to, he can't, he can't do it, if he looked he knew exactly what he would see. It was why he always shut his eyes, aware he wasn't unconscious, it was all in his head.. while he was awake. 'I'm going to sleep 'cus you live in my daydreams.' God, shut up. That fucking song was part of this, he knew it had something to do with his head being so crowded with these kinds of images. The sensual ones. The ones he pretended don't exist, it didn't exist, they didn't exist. It's not real, it's not real it's not- He finally snapped, George couldn't take it as his eyes flew open, observing the mess of scribbles and darkness clouding his friends face, as his mouth opened to say.. anything, Clay was gone._

George's hands moved, immediately clasping over his mouth as panicked gasps and noises left him, looking around for any signs that he was still there, still in his own head. The familiar noise of a discord notification came through his phone, he starred at the message for a moment, before clicking that there was a whole list of unopened dm's from both Nick and.. god fuck. Not after that. His eyes scanned the messages on top of the stack they'd been placed upon to avoid cluttering up his screen, **'This isn't funny man, respond'** from Nick, and from Dream, **'George? I'm calling.'** Wait, that only was a minute ago, any second Dream would call him, he'd have to face his voice in this.. vulnerable, fucking pathetic. What could he even do? He wanted to talk to Dream, something deep down tugging him to call him before he was even called, sob his heart out to him. Yet that was the worst idea, Dream would ask what was wrong, and what could he use as an excuse?

As George was stuck in his thoughts his phone started to ring, he jumped a little, looking down at the contact as he read the contact name, **'Dream'** holy shit, he wasn't calling him over discord, he was using his phone, his contact on his phone. He really needed to change the contact name. His hand moved involuntarily, pressing the green, well yellow, answer button, lifting his phone up to his ear. George didn't know what to say really, so all he did was choke out a weak sounding, "Hello.." Oh god, it was painfully obvious, _even_ if Dream couldn't see him he could probably hear the strain in his voice, imagine the tears forming at the edges of his eyes as he struggled to keep himself from breaking. He didn't want to let the dam of emotions he'd built up crack over this call, he'd have to explain himself, he'd have to confess.. but it was far too fucking early for that, he was also so sure Dream would never think of him in a romantic sense. _Let alone what he'd been imagining._

"George? I.. what's up? You haven't responded to me or Sap all day, you haven't even been active on discord.. is something up? Did we do something?" Dreams voice came through his speaker and into his ear, he nearly choked, but held himself back. George could only think of his stupid fucking daydreams, Dream sounded exactly the same, he knew his friends voice far far too well, it was concerning honestly, he knew the voice so well but would never have a face to put to the name. It would happen eventually, he just didn't want to think of it. 

"You guys didn't do anything wrong, don't think that you did.. I've just been- been busy, busy with work and stuff. College, y'know?" George stifled a chuckle, it would be far too sad if he laughed through it. Before he even knew it, cracks in the dam had already started forming, the tears threatening to slip down his face. His body felt like it was on fire and submerged in frozen water at the exact same time, he couldn't breathe correctly, resisting against the temptation to take in more air, if he did then Dream would start asking. He'd want him to explain why he was on the verge of a panic attack over the phone. 

"Oh right.. work. You usually respond to us though and- wait.. George are you okay?" The younger mans words made George freeze, fuck, of course he could tell what was happening to him just from his tone, Dream wasn't dense like George when it came to social interaction. All of Georges words caught in his throat, the tears finally slipping down his face. _The dam hasn't broken yet, pull through, tell him it's nothing._ But he'll only ask more, he was so tempted to just spill everything, but he didn't want to loose Clay, jesus. 

"Dream- I'm fine, I'm-"

" _George.._ "

Shit. He knew, he knew that he was in this state, about to break down and spill his heart out about his erotic fantasies that he can't escape to his _best friend_. And they were about him. George squeezed his eyes shut, listening to the uncomfortable silence echoing throughout the call, only small shuffles or the subtle noise of the rain from outside of his room could be heard. _A weight rested itself onto his lap, George didn't need to open his eyes to know what it was. Oh god, why right now? The worst fucking time for one of these.. ever. He felt a hand trail up his stomach, over the centre of his chest and landing on his neck, the fingers squeezing along his throat, barely restricting the airflow, yet it was enough to let panic set in throughout George's body. These weren't just some stupid teenage-like fantasies anymore, they were fucking nightmares. They were horrible. He hated it, he hated it, so so fucking much._

"Are you there?" George's eyes shot open, there was nothing on his lap, no one there, dream Clay wasn't there. Thank _fuck._ Actual Clay had brought him from the stupid thing, but also hearing his voice again had made him gasp, his hand moving to cover his mouth as his eyes only watered more. He didn't want to say anything, he didn't want to admit his own emotions, he didn't want to come off as pathetic, this thing that is easily broken and brought down. He wasn't weak, he was just human. Just human. Yet before he even knew it.. 

_The dam had broken._

A laboured sob left his lips, muffled by his hand as he heard all shuffling stop on Dreams side of the phone, his hand shaking as he kept the device to his ear. Before he even knew what was happening, George was sobbing quietly into his hand, tears spilling down his cheeks as the pain in his body started to cease, he was finally letting the constricting act slip, express his emotions like anyone should be able to. He never was one to be too emotional, this was his first ever breakdown in front of Dream, but not his first technically caused by him. He never blamed him, of course, he was his damn best friend. He couldn't blame him for something like that. He didn't want to blame anyone for making him feel _anything_ he just wanted to be this happy figure to all of his fans. Even if it did feel like he was deceiving them, he didn't want to seem like he was pushing his emotions onto them. He was just stuck in his own head. Quite literally at times. 

"I'm sorry, sh-shit.. I'm so sorry Dream, I'm sorry.." George let the string of apologies slip his lips, his hands idly shaking as he let the phone fall onto the desk, his hand slipping and pressing the speaker button. He wanted to hear Dream. He wanted to be fucking comforted, for once, but he wouldn't force that onto Dream, he couldn't do that to someone like him. His hands moved, hastily wiping the tears spilling down his face, a few drops landing on his lap as he decided to ignore them. He could change later, and it was the smallest amount of water. He was horrible. He hated it. He hated _himself._

"What? No- okay George, focus on my voice for me, okay? Can you do that?" Dreams voice came through the speaker, soft, but loud enough for him to hear and focus on. He just hoped anything would pull him from this state, it was horrible, he was shaking. He was _scared_. So fucking scared. The fear sat in the bottom of his gut, bitter and wrenching around as he tried to block it out as he needed to listen to Dream, he needed to listen to _Clay,_ his best friend, not the famous minecraft player, his best friend. His amazing fucking best friend. 

"Okay, George, what are five things you can see?"

George's eyes started moving around the room, studying whatever they could to listen to Clays command, after a moment he choked out his words through burning hot tears, "My desk, my phone, my bed... my monitor and my mouse."

"Good, well done, what are four things you can hear?"

George once again took a moment to think about it, he was far too afraid to close his eyes, so he took his time to focus on what he could hear, there certainly wasn't four things. After a moment he realised what he could hear, shuffling and getting closer to the phone, still weakly sobbing on the line. This was so strange. "You, like.. electricity, my breathing and my own voice.."

Clay paused for a second before making a soft humming noise, he spoke again quickly, most likely to stop George from being thrown back into the panicked state once again. George knew Clay would hate hearing him upset, sometimes during videos he'd just stop everything to make sure he was okay, in game or over the call. It was something George had barely picked up on, thinking it was just a best friend instinct, since he did it too, but he always tried to make it less obvious than whenever the younger man checked up on him. "Three things you can feel?"

There was a beat.

"My clothes, my chair.. kinda cold.."

"Two things you can smell?"

"Food, faintly.. and nothing else."

"That's fine, last thing, George.. what can you taste?"

"Something, I-I can't exactly tell what it is after.. all of that.."

The line fell silent, George's chokes and sobbing had calmed, he'd calmed, he moved his arms up, wiping the water away from his cheeks with his sleeves, his body no longer shaking as the fear that had enveloped his gut had ceased. Clay had calmed him down, jesus, he knew how to do that far too well, no doubt that was his coping mechanism too. The silence was comfortable, he could only hear the younger mans breathing on the other side of the line, his own a little shaky too, but significantly less aggressive than it had been previously. George let the distasteful reality set in that he just had a panic attack in front of his best friend, one he'd have to lie about the cause of. It hurt. But nowhere near as much as admitting to his sins would be. _God was he a sinner._

"How're you feeling? You should get yourself some water if there isn't any on your desk." Clays voice broke the silence, of course he still was checking, he really did care. That was why it hurt him so much. Honesty was a massive thing to Clay, yet if George was honest he was sure their entire world would crumble underneath them, thrown into the dark abyss of loosing one of his closest friends. Someone he lo-.. Someone he cared for a large amount.

"I'm alright. Thank you, for that.." George mumbled, tilting his head back to let it rest against the chair, leaning back into the warmth and comfort it provided, a small frown resting on his expression. He heard Clay hum in approval, then some shuffling, then silence once again. They were just enjoying each others presence, they didn't need to talk to be comfortable around each other. It was an incredible feeling, especially after something like that. 

"What actually happened there? You disappear for ages then this happens." Fuck, of course he was curious, his mind started racing as he came up with excuses. All he needed was one decent enough lie, something believable, and the pause was rather understandable too, as he was still processing his own panic. All over his own envisions of his friend, situated in his lap and fucking taunting him. Out of context it sounded really.. strange, he couldn't deny that, it sounded like one of his other daydreams, the ones something in the back of head enjoyed. He didn't enjoy that one. He hated it, he could say it over and over but it wouldn't express his truest feelings over his own situation. 

"I.. don't know, just stress I guess, I said before that I had a lot of work.. I guess it's been dragging on me."

That's one way to word it, it wasn't entirely false. Work was really dragging George's mental state down, he thought that had been obvious, but maybe he could pass it off as the reason he was thrown into a full blown panic attack. He heard Clay fall silent for sometime, his stomach dropped a little, expression falling as he moved to look at his phone. It was fine. Clay didn't know he wasn't telling the full truth, right? He was probably just thinking, yeah, just thinking. Of course he was thinking.

"That makes sense, why didn't you say anything earlier, George?" 

Clays voice came through the phone, dragging George's stomach further into that pit as the feeling changed, it wasn't nervousness or fear, something he didn't feel that much. Shame. Guilt. He enjoyed the younger mans voice far too much for him to be normal, he always felt his stomach drop at flirtatious comments during a stream or video. Clay had no fucking clue what a hold he had over George, he felt like he was trapped in a way, clamps over his wrists, bound to Clay in a way he couldn't describe. He had no idea if it was a curse or a blessing. In a way, he hoped it was both. 

"Dunno, I didn't want it to be on yours or Sapnaps mind.." 

His voice left him way softer than he intended, his shoulders slumping as he let his body relax, a shaky sigh slipping his lips. He finally decided to reach for the water bottle on his desk, opening it and lifting it to his lips. The liquid tasted incredible, he couldn't even deny it, especially after an episode like that. He placed the bottle down after about half was gone, taking a deep breath in, wiping his lips quickly. Clay must've known what he did, because he heard a soft chuckle come through the line, it made a small smile form on George's lips. That was nice to hear. 

"You can tell us anything, we've known you for literal years, we wouldn't judge you."

_You'd be surprised._

"No no I know! It's just that.. ugh, I'd rather not talk about it, isn't it late for you?"

The line fell silent once again, that came off more harsh than George had intended, he didn't want to upset Clay. That was the very last thing he wanted, ever. His hands moved until they were clasped gently together in his lap, looking down at his phone with a newfound interest and fear. He wanted to speak again, but his words caught in his throat, he couldn't speak at all, it was horrible, suffocating. But he couldn't go back into that panicked state, not after all of that. _"Really fucked up this time, didn't you?"_ Shut up, not now, go away, you're not real. _"You don't know if I'm real or not, either way, I'm not going anytime soon."_ George shut his eyes, moving to cover his face, trying his hardest to block out the fake Clay. He wasn't real, real Clay was here with him. 

_"George.. you can't get rid of me if you keep hiding your emotions, you have to tell him. Eventually. You're gonna have to deal with **me** for now, you're going to have to deal with what you really want."_

_Fuck._

"Kinda, I guess, its not late enough for me to go to sleep.. you know my sleep schedule George."

Clay needed to stop saying his name, even if it was for a moment. George angled his head down, his eyes off to the side as he tried to think of an answer that wasn't too pushy, or crude, or anything sounding. He wanted to sound normal. For once in his life. He was used to not noticing social ques or tones in peoples voices. It wasn't too concerning or anything, he just accepted the fact he was dense, even if he'd deny it or never admit it, he'd probably not notice sarcasm in someone's voice. 

"You know what, I'm gonna go to bed.."

"It's earlier over there, I understand if you're tired though.. have you finished that thing you were working on? Like.. you mentioned work, I'm presuming you have something due in College."

Oh, George had nearly completely forgot about the assignment, a rather noticeable sigh slipped his chapped lips. He needed some water, or some chapstick. Did he even have any? He was getting distracted, quickly bringing himself back into reality to avoid any embarrassment in zoning out, like he usually did in calls. His hand fell on the mouse of his Pc, opening the word tab and scanning through the writing. Oh, this was so much more than he needed, "Apparently I've done it, I didn't even realise.." 

He heard a laugh from Clays line, not the usual wheeze over something hysterical, just a small chuckle, something that George would absolutely love to get used to hearing. If he could just get little laughs from the younger man he'd only get thrown deeper into his predicament. The sound replayed in his head, ignoring the way his cheeks heated up just from something so simple, yet he found himself quietly laughing alongside Clay. Once their laughter had silenced, the other spoke.

"I guess you have my permission to speak, at least text Sapnap before you go to sleep, he was freaking the hell out. I mean I was too, but he was acting more like your mom than anything."

It was George's turn to start the laughter up, the two men just giggled at each other like two high school best friends, until they calmed themselves down. Clay was right, of course he was, George really needed to talk to Sapnap. Maybe he could get some damn advice about this kind of thing. Crushes. That was what George decided to call it, a _crush_ in oppose to a sexual attraction to his best friend. What truly was the difference though?

"I'll talk to him, I won't let him 'mom' me."

George tried his hardest fake his friends accent at the word 'mom', in opposition to just using 'mum'. Sometimes he wondered why Americans changed random words, he could google it, yet he genuinely felt exhausted, like his entire body would collapse at any moment and he'd just fall asleep in his chair, something he had done many a time on accident. Then been teased about as he'd still been on a call.

"Yeah, talk to you later."

With that, the three beeps signifying the call had ended played through his speaker, and George let out an extremely heavy breath he had no idea he was holding. He paused, eyes scanning over the mess of his desk. Mess? No, organised clutter, he knew the basics of where things were and where he put them, but usually something would be in the completely incorrect place. That was when he realised he hadn't even touched his sandwich, it had gone cold, that was the saddest thing he'd ever seen. He was still going to eat it, picking it up and taking a bite, decent. He placed it down as he chewed, opening a discord tab, starting a call with Sapnap. He jumped as he picked up immediately.

"GEORGE!"

Laughter left Georges mouth the second he finished swallowing, luckily he hadn't choked as he swallowed from the surprise. He felt a lot more relieved just at the sound of Nick's voice, moving to get comfortable in his seat before speaking up. 

"Hey, sorry about disappearing for so long, work and shit.."

He spoke, stifling his laughter through his words. He shuffled, taking another bite of his sandwich, chewing as quietly as he could as to not make any gross noises through the mic. He placed it on his plate once again, staring at the younger mans icon on discord, watching the pale green circle appear around it in time with the speakers playing Sapnaps words.

"Oh, it's no problem man! As long as you're looking after yourself, you are, right?"

"Yes, yes of course I am. I can't go dying on you guys anytime soon."

"Exactly, do you have any idea how we'd feel if you died?"

The question stunned George completely, he tried to fight away thinking about it, but before he even knew it he was completely transfixed on the idea. And instead of keeping his thoughts to himself, he let them all out. 

"Well, of course you'd be upset. I can't imagine you not being upset, the entire fandom would probably be upset.. Cl- _Dream_ would... He'd.. probably not respond to you for a few days, maybe buy a plane ticket to come visit my grave, I bet you'd get one too. You'd both just.. stand there, maybe talk to my parents about me, I don't know what you'd say bur since its a funeral not much, you'd cry. I only think all of this because if either of you died I'd be like this, only I'd sob about it for years afterwards. You're both so incredible man, I wish Dream was here to hear it.."

Silence immediately overtook the call, George's breath hitched in his throat as panic rose in his stomach. That was something he'd never even thought about, yet all of that had come out of seemingly nowhere, he didn't want to seem like he thought about it so much.

"Damn man, you got it spot on, I don't know for Dream but.. that's what I'd do, expect with a lot more crying and questioning the universe."

George felt a soft smile tug on his lips, tilting his head and moving to place his elbow on the desk, holding his chin in his hand to keep it up. Sapnap was such a nice person, it was insane, someone could seem so much softer once no longer on stream. Alone, people are different on their own, and sometimes they were much better with emotions than you had even considered for them to be.

"You're such a good friend, Nick."

"You too George, I love you, man."

Platonic love, George was more than sure Nick was closer with Dream than he was with him, they'd known each other for ten years or something. That only made him feel even better, even if he hadn't known him as long as those two had known each other, he still felt validated, cared for. It was incredible, not like how someone would kiss your head and whisper sweet nothings, it felt like someone you could insult without worrying about consequences, someone you could cry around, laugh around, share your fucking life with. It was so amazing, George didn't want to loose it with Nick, or Clay.

"I love you too, nimrod."

"Oh come on! We were having a deep conversation George!"

Laughter erupted over both of the men immediately, they were like children, they really were. That was another thing George loved about their conversations, the sudden shifts in tone, and how easily he could say something like-

"Actually, about serious conversations.." George trailed off a little, clearing his throat before sucking it up and letting it out, "Can I talk to you about something?"

"It's Clay, isn't it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, this blew up immediately, what?? I’m honestly shocked, I’ve started writing this the day after it was posted and oh my god guys, thank you so much! I’m definitely gonna continue with this for as long as I can, even if school is starting up again here.  
> Sorry the ending is so rushed, and for the extremely long dialogue moments, there's only going to be more of those,,

**Author's Note:**

> If there are any extra tags I need to add/warnings I should add let me know! Thanks for reading! If this doesn’t get popular or any reads I still intend on writing at least a few chapters, I’m a new user on Archive so I’m not expecting much.


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